I had a sickening dream last night about visiting a vegan family.

At one point, the father asks "Who wants to squeeze one out?" Then his young son appears in the living room and starts straining like he's gonnna take a shit. He can't do it.
"Always a trickle from him!" says the father.
So his daughter comes out next and proceeds to strain and low and behold these giant plastic bags of bread come out her ass! Turns out they're so vegan that they figured out a way to use the heat of the body to bake bread internally, and then shit out perfectly formed loaves.
"If you slice the bread completely through the bag, you probably won't get hepatitis."

That's the last time I mix Dewey's pizza with beer and scotch...

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